Forgiveness…

Is it possible to forgive yourself…

Can you relate to this…

Your going about your day, feeling pretty good, and then… well you step in it… big time… major cow pie… if you know what I mean…

If you’re a follower of Christ, the Holy Spirit that lives in you, reminds you right away of what’s now all over your “shoes”and that’s the way it should be… in the conviction of your spirit, you apologize to whom you’ve sinned and repent of your sin to God… should be taken care of… right… ?

Well, yes it should be… in Gods eyes He tells us it is… now we move on… and I do… yet the nagging narrative going on in my mind, reminding me that I, let’s just say, messed it up beyond all recognition, and the cloud of guilt that follows just refuses to let the sunshine in…

I remind myself of the promises in His word…

As far as the east is from the west,

So far has He removed our transgressions from us.

— Psalm 103:12

I know that He has, I believe it… yet still the voices persist… I remind myself…

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

— 2 Corinthians 5:17

Yes, this is true… yet the voices tell me, I must not believe it, otherwise why would you…

Then I’m reminded of the this passage in Romans… and re-read the whole chapter…

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

— Romans 8:1

That battle over, I move on, yet watchful as there is sure to be another around the corner…

Why is It So Hard Forgiving Yourself

First,

I want to acknowledge that following Him isn’t easy, Jesus told us it would be difficult… yet His mercy and grace is overflowing and He promises when we repent of our sins, He will forgive them…

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.

— John 15:18-19“

And,

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

— 1 John 1:9

Second,

I believe in Jesus claims that His willingness to die on the cross was the sacrifice needed once and for all to cover the sin of the world, including my own and that in my ongoing process of sanctification he forgives my sin when I ask Him to… He promised He would… and I am grateful… it seems the difficult part has always been forgiving myself…

Maybe I’m the only one that battles this at times… entirely possible, yet I am guessing there is at least maybe one brother or sister who understands and can relate…

It seems the longer I walk with Christ, this battle for the soul only intensifies… It increases in frequency and difficulty… and therefore the ability to forgive myself, more challenging… In thinking through this…

Several things crossed my mind as I pondered this question….

• Is there some sort of condolence for my soul, if I keep reminding myself of how bad I blew it?

• By continually running the scenario or whatever the sin, over and over in my mind will I somehow pay for it in a sort of mental sweat equity?

• Maybe if I keep thinking about it and mulling it over, do I somehow feel I deserve it?

• Is my self worth tied up in my failures….

• By continually beating myself up over my sin, am I somehow punishing myself, and therefore paying for it?

• And in continually thinking about it, and I somehow forgiving myself?

In the end by not letting it go,

• I’m failing to remember that God is the One who forgives and does so through the provision of His Son Jesus.

• Failed to realize my identity is in Christ, not in my self effort.

• Although my thoughts may be sincere, I somehow make it about the failure of my standards and personal performance, rather than Gods unearned grace.

• By replaying my sin, I fail to accept the promise in Romans 8:1… that “there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Conclusion

I guess that’s why they call this a spiritual battle… yet there are a couple of things I try to keep at the front of my mind when the “spiritual war” is raging…

• Remembering I don’t need to forgive myself, instead in confessing my sin to the One who does and accepting God‘s forgiveness, I can then savor the peace and love that result.

• Acknowledging that Jesus already paid for my sin, and to lay down any personal shame and move forward in my faith.

Not that I have already obtained it or have already become perfect, but I press on so that I may lay hold of that for which also I was laid hold of by Christ Jesus. Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

— Philippians 3:12-14

Until next time my friends,

Raj